PMB: VE Day Special

In this PMB© special, we commemorate the derring do of the sterling generation of geez who really put it up the sausage scoffers. And did they like it up em, the Nazi dem? On the 8th of May 1945, they were forced to concede that they did not. 

Three out of the standard four quarters of a century later, PMB© reads the wartime roles of the current generation writ large across their manicured chops.

Reconnaissance Corps

Wehrmacht? This guy'll find them and when he's found them he'll mark them. When's he marked them, he'll used the latrine. Then he'll be off again.

The Galley Boy

All aboard the HMS Bryan Adams -best grub on the seven seas, served up by the slopping ladle load. Give him a wink and you might just get seconds. 

The Conscientious Objector

Does this man not like war?

You be the judge.

Blackmarketeer

Two pounds of puff for a punnet of prunes?

Two punnets of prunes.

Cantankerous Munitions Factory Foreman

Get to fuck, the lot of yis.



The Blighty Wound

Took one to the fleshy part of the thigh and evacked home. Healing slowly chaps, but doing my bit going town to town servicing the local totty. Doc says I should be fighting fit by June 45.

Air Raid Warden

He fackin loves air raids! Wind up the siren - Stuff em down the underground - Blow the whistle - Fackin love it!!

The Double Agent

"où sont les papiers secrets?"

MIA

Last seen drifting westward, contentedly whittling a rudder and a port-side gunwale from a matchstick.

Shell Shock

He saw too much, much too young

The Mother Fucker

THIS MAN WILL NOT RESPECT RATIONING. Do not keep comestibles near this man - sandwiches, onions, a ramekin of sultanas, a tube of Jacob's water biscuits, even the stubbornest of pistachios that you're saving for another crack at later - all will be snouted the moment you turn your back.


Lord of the Admiralty

This jolly sailor is choreographing British navel operations worldwide. And don't the bell bottomed boys just love it! Forget anarchy in the UK, this is Gallipoli, avec plié

Dam Buster

Wrong dam.

Merchant Seaman

Nah, we couldn't get blackcurrants this time. Sorry lads.