Doldrums

Got a negative mood on
Yeah, I got my brood on.
Bound to make mistakes,
Bound to find the pages bonded:
Some past neglect, resurrected
and thrown in my face,
Some lurking paralysis
that won´t give chase.

Carrying round a bad smell,
Like to set it down a spell.
Like to just say ´yes´ and do,
Be it saving lives or sniffing glue.
Abandoned my good plans all too easily,
Curiosity got the better of me.
Carrying round a bad smell,
Don´t sit close to me.

Breaking my own rules,
Making fast fools
of my own feet.
Footloose and fancy free,
Or so they ought to be.
But I got my negative mood on
Yeah, I got my brood on,
And I don´t know where to be.

Minds need making up,
Mine does - I´m waking up
Seeing things all too simultaneous,
Imagining many outcomes, many paths,
Many more than the one I´ll wear down,
Wearing my thorny frown,
Dragging my feet,
Dragging a bad smell,
Dragging friends down with me,
Plenty of room in this gloomy cell,
Plenty of possibilities,
Swollen with possible hostilities,
Though all imagined, few possible.

Escape is not an epiphany,
Nor a manual read from cover to cover.
Not a possibility: a job or a lover,
Just one foot in front of the other.