Diminishing Returns
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| Nissan's legendary debut in 2011 |
In 2011, an up-and-coming freelance male grooming consultant embroidered
the face of masculinity with a message for our times. As soft as lambswool, yet with the intoxicating odor of cuban cigars and plimsoles fresh
from the factory, Lip Candy was born. The message, was simple: Pass The Hoi Sin, Immediately.
I'm Gonna Smother This Mother! Now, moutachioed sage and all round pheasant,
Nissan, returns with a manifesto for the metrosexual man.
Striding into PMB's studio in Maida Vale like a cat in pyjamas, Nissan
stops and takes a discerning look about him. "So this is where it all
started, eh?" I humbly correct him that we moved premises from Canning
Town in 2013, before inviting him over to what we're contractually obliged to
call, The Remmington Total Groom Zone. The razor giant offered to facilitate
our move following suspected arson from a rival beardery magazine.
Complications with our insurance meant it was necessary to avail ourselves of
Remmington's generosity, despite the funding proffered by our most eminent
subscribers. Without what Remmington were putting on the table however, we
wouldn't have been able to offer the in-house beardery that had become this
editor's solution to the increasing competition from copy-cat facial hair
weeklies that had been springing up all over the place since the summer of
2011. I explained all this to Nissan and he quipped amiably that he hoped Lip
Candy had had nothing to do with it all. I remarked that the unprecedented
popularity of Lip Candy undoubtedly sparked a wave of beardery movements at
that time, yet any competition that it had generated for PMB was tenfold
compensated by the privilege of being the first to review his now iconic tache.
We shared a moment contemplating this. It evoked a scene of Bono and The Edge
reflecting on recording The Joshua Tree whilst sitting on the veranda of a house
one of them had just bought with its proceeds, which were still rolling in many
years later. Nissan glided over to The Remmington Total Groom Zone. He eyed its
ample resources with circumspection as he ran his finger idly across the
porcelain of the newly-installed Armitage Shanks deep-basin sink. I was about
to ask him what he had in mind for the special edition when he commandingly
held his index finger aloft and pressed it to my lips. I knew the time for
talking was over. Hailing the photographer with a subtle gesture, so as not to
disturb the artistry of our guest, I sat down and watched Nissan go to
work.
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| Nissan. Diminishing Returns, 2015 |
For three and a half hours I looked on, entranced, as Nissan produced
his tryptic: Diminishing Returns.
"It's all about the process," says Nissan (his first
utterance, fully 80 minutes into his sculpting). "After Lip Candy I
experimented with other styles and nothing felt comfortable. Everything felt
contrived - I knew who I was and I was Lip Candy. Every step I took away from
it, diminished me. Yet, determined not to pass into beardery intransigence - which has
been the downfall of many tache luminaries - I knew I couldn't just rest on Lip
Candy forever. That's when I starting thinking about the myriad moustaches that
must be hidden within Lip Candy. I've named this approach Diminishing Returns
as a warning to those heavily involved in the beardery scene. Of course it's
part of our vocation to experiment, to be pioneers, to break new ground, yet
it's frivolous if our work loses sight of the essence that drives us to do so.
I believe that is the difference between fashion and style."
A true gent to the last, we sat and discussed moorings and anchorage for light to medium weight non-commercial vessels over a couple of milky teas before it was time for Nissan to leave. Slinging his tan leather jacket over his shoulder, Nissan casually mounted his scooter and flicked a military salute my way. He patted his trouser pockets for phone - wallet - keys, before zipping off to the next of his day's engagements, endorsing a new ready meals venture by Pascal Chimbonda.
